Intuitive Coaching 101–Authenticity & Questioning Gender Roles

Aquarius rules androgyny, Wikipedia image

As we move closer to the Aquarius Age, I wonder why we still cling to old gender roles–men must be strong and macho while women are still expected to smile pretty and act nice. The problem with these false gender roles is that they block authenticity and even prevent us from walking our true paths.

Granted, we see people mocking old fashion gender roles every day. With the rise in awareness and acceptance of same-sex couples and marriage, we finally realize that gender roles have nothing to do with our spirituality since our souls are androgynous; and little to do playing nice in the sandbox. In fact, we feel less irritated when we show up as our authentic selves living our true missions.

I have an image of a young man who hides his tenderness and affection behind a gruff exterior. While this man’s true path is that of a tender-heart healer, his cop father wants him to follow in his footsteps and keep criminals in order. The inner tension this young man experiences cause illness in his Solar Plexus as he loses his will and gives into the will of others such as parental figures or guilt coming from society, “We need more policemen on the streets.”

This man’s father grew up in a family where boys weren’t allowed to reveal tender emotions and so the father grew thick skin and did what was expected of him. His father, a military man believed that a man should never show his vulnerabilities if he expects to survive in a dog-eat-dog world. And his grandfather harbored even more strict beliefs so much that a lineage of men locked themselves into a prison where they couldn’t express their love to their spouses (whose hearts also grew colder with time). And when we’re unable to love anyone, then we also can’t love an Unconditional Loving God. Therefore, we construct a wrathful God who points the finger and shames us into submission. Then we preach this doctrine to anyone who also vibes with it. Welcome to a fear-based world.

Alice in Wonderland, Wikipedia

I have another image of a young woman who’s mother taught her to be polite and nice, even bordering on self-sacrifice. “When someone asks how you are feeling or how you are, you tell them, I’m fine.” When a stranger smiles at you, you smile back. When you cook dinner for your husband and children, you make sure that they’re fed first, before you serve yourself. Volunteer for everything and prove how helpful and nice you are at all turns.

Now the problem with this scenario is that this young woman is a warrior spirit. She came into the world to brandish a sword of integrity and truth. Indigo women become ill when they are shoved in a box labeled politeness or told to go along with the program. There are fiery women hiding behind a soft and sweet voice and most likely wearing safer pastels. They get married, and give birth to children then feel empty inside because something is missing from their lives.

They live behind their husband and what looks like support is actually laced with envy and resentment. These Indigo women are wired for passion and the fire never completely goes out. So as they grow bored with their marriages or jobs, they ripen for a passionate love affair or quitting their jobs when they hit bottom and striking out. Some of these women self-medicate with legal and illegal drugs. Some of them drink themselves into a stupor because they try to fill the empty void or they might overeat. Indigo women require a cause or a mission. These are highly intelligent women capable of great fetes which they can’t do with two babies at their breasts and a husband that they dote upon. The late Princess Diana comes to mind as an example.

So here you have the Crystal Man (healer) and the Indigo Woman playing confining roles that could destroy them if they don’t break free. In the end, none of us came to this planet to toe the line or to fit in. That’s Patriarchal nonsense that promises to keep us stuck and when we don’t show up as authentic beings no one can take us seriously, and certainly not ourselves.

This reminds me of that line in the movie Under a Tuscan Sun where the Patty character tells the Frances character about the “empty shell man who stood at a crossroads” and chose the wrong road of not following a dream. Each of us must question the conventions of our time and ask if those conventions serve us. Most likely they don’t. We are standing at the crossroads of change and we have a choice to take the more promising route (which requires courage) or to take the safer route as to not ruffle any feathers. I advise ruffling feathers. Perhaps we get better eggs that way. Then remember that eggs tastes best when we break them open.

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Published by pnwauthor

I'm a former Washingtonian from Washington State, not Washington DC. I currently reside in Pennsylvania, even though my dream was to live and work in Vermont.

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