Intuitive Coaching 101: don’t Allow Anyone to ride on your coattails

1119When I channel these messages they are pointed at me as well as, anyone reading this post. As teachers and healers, we were taught enabling behavior. Or we get caught in our egos, basking in the light of someone needing us. But in truth, no one needs us and when we allow others to need us, they suck our life-force.

It’s important that we get this message and contemplate the power within it. If we act out of guilt, fear, or obedience, then we miss the point of our true mission on this planet. And that is to heal ourselves and then pass on our practices and tools. Jesus has been quoted as teaching people how to fish as oppose to giving them fish. And that’s pretty much the message here.

I read the Coptic Gospels years ago and was dumbfounded by what I read. I remember one saying or section about turning away from one’s parents and family. And I felt aghast by those words. But that’s because, at that time, I didn’t understand the meaning, which isn’t about dissing your family, but perhaps, walking away from their beliefs because those are old beliefs that don’t serve us. The other aspect of this is to not get caught up in the neediness of others because again, they suck us dry.

We have not come here to serve others in the old way of the martyr-victim. If we feel exhausted, suffer from anemia, chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia, then  it’s because we are allowing others to put their needs before us. And they must learn ways to get their needs met through the Divine Source. That is they set an intention, pray for help, and let whoever or whatever shows up to help them. There should be no strings attached.

It’s true, Saint Francis once said that it is in giving that we receive, but he’s not talking about the type of giving where we keep score. I’m pretty sure he meant to give from the heart when we are filled up with love and our cup is overflowing. I think he meant that if we have ten extra dollars and we encounter someone sincerely in need, we give that money freely without any thought, judgment, or expectation. We know that more will come to us from the Source of all Creation.

Now, we might even give the person some tools, even a mantra or affirmation, if we feel the person is open to that. But don’t take on their burden, don’t do what I used to do–which is to start mulling over that person’s predicament and then turning that into some kind of savior crusade. Who am I to save anyone? Have we been watching too many moralistic feel-good movies? Life isn’t like those movies. We’re all here to learn our lessons and sometimes we are called on to give others a leg up, and we do this by teaching them what we know.

So if you’re feeling the following symptoms around other people, they are sucking you dry, consciously or unconsciously. Shield yourself and be strong.

  • Exhaustion
  • Migraines or tension headaches
  • Dizziness or lightheaded
  • Vertigo
  • Feeling like you are drowning or suffocating
  • Nausea
  • Intestinal or digestive issues
  • Bones ache
  • Emotionally off
  • Disoriented
  • Feet ache (as you try to ground yourself)
  • Chaos
  • Your life feels out of control

I imagine that anyone reading this post is an empath and has been taught that nice people help others. But this does not suggest that we chew other people’s food for them, on any level. I’ve been needy in the past too. When I was unconscious, I sucked others dry and they sucked me dry and it was a vicious cycle. I was also very sick physically.

Then the channel Frank Butterfield knocked some sense into me. He told me to stop looking to others to get my needs met and allow others to simply be the agents of change that they are. And this woke me up immediately. And if you want to know more about Frank Butterfield, I’m including his link here. I want to thank my friend Jane Ritson for hooking me up with Frank. Jane is an awesome astrologer and wise woman over there in the UK.

And as always, you can sign up with me at Whole Astrology.


Published by pnwauthor

I'm a former Washingtonian from Washington State, not Washington DC. I currently reside in Pennsylvania, even though my dream was to live and work in Vermont.

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