Intuitive Coaching 101–It’s Not Your Fault (when you feel angry at a narcissist)

I know that I said I wouldn’t write any more posts about narcissists. The problem is that narcissists in all their various stripes are throwing chaos upon the world. They run our economies, they run corporations, the government, the media, and all the industries and religions. They show up as teachers in schools. They show up as community leaders. They show up as police officers. And they don’t give a blank about any of us.

If you are a kind and loving person just for the sake of it, you encounter narcissists. They prey upon kind people. They prey on authentic people. They prey on confident and successful people (who harbor guilt or shame). They prey on children. They prey on the elderly. They prey on people who find themselves in desperate situations. And they’re so good at acting and wearing masks that often you don’t know their true identity until it’s too late. Then the real damage has been done to your brain and your physical body.

Narcissists have games that they play to control and manipulate you. They are worst than having a large tapeworm swimming in your gut. They will cause worst damage than a disease because they cause dis-ease. Some of their games include gaslighting which they use to make you feel like you’re losing your mind. They also do something called hoovering which is their way of sucking you of your life force and then dumping their inadequacies and projections on you.

For most of my life, I have been prey to narcissists. Only I didn’t have a label or any knowledge of these folks. All I knew was that I suffered from depression and anxiety. I suffered from inflammation in my body and nothing ever went smoothly in my life. I dated narcissists who left me feeling like an empty shell. I had bosses and landlords of this ilk. And I’ve shared houses with them. And here is what I learned from my own experiences.

• It’s important that we forgive ourselves because we are not at fault when dealing with this type of human predator (also lumped in with psychopaths and sociopaths).
• It’s not our job to be kind to them and enable them to play their wicked games
• Analyzing them or going to counseling with them is not helpful (they will use this against you)
• If you meet someone that seems too agreeable and lacking a personality, run, because you are most likely dealing with a covert narcissist (the worst kind)
• Don’t be fooled by authority figures who say they have your best interest at heart while you feel that they are actually abusing you (follow your intuition)
• If you feel sick around a person, suffer from obesity (after you have met them), or suffer from an autoimmune disease (after you have met them), there is a good chance you are dealing with a narcissist
• If you believe that you are with a narcissist, come up with an exit plan now
• You cannot change a narcissist even if he or she says that he or she will try harder because they care about you
• They have no empathy and when they say that you are hurting their feelings (guilt trip) you have actually wounded their ego (and they will get revenge)
• The souls of narcissists have exited their body and ego is completely running the show
• While a narcissist would seem like a decent person if they chose to get therapy and heal themselves, most of them will never do this. They won’t do this because too many of us are enabling their behavior
• Our societies worship narcissists. We give them power over our businesses. We spend money on narcissistic entertainers and call this “artist temperament”. Our societies vote narcissists into top political offices

So what can we do?

• Research narcissism through articles in scientific journals and watch YouTube videos by experts (And in my opinion, those of us who have endured relationships with narcissists count as experts)
• Educate your non-narcissists friends and families about this epidemic
• Heal any issues of codependencies, lack of self-worth, and practice self-care
• Support your friends, colleagues, and family members as they get out of relationships with narcs (your friends should never have to go to a shelter. Open up your home to them)
• Don’t spend money on entertainment presented by narcissistic entertainers, authors, or other cultural icons because this says that narcissism is okay when in fact, it is harmful to the planet
• And finally, stand up for yourself, balance your emotions, and fill yourself up with your talents, skills, positive attributes and love (this makes you almost narcissistic-proof.

I believe that the only way to bring peace on the planet is to heal this epidemic on the planet. And to stop allowing parasitic people to prey on us.

Look for videos by Ross Rosenberg, Lisa Romano, Meredith Miller, and Kim Saeed. Use their meditations for best results if they supply them. And blessings on your journey to wholeness and authenticity.