Intuitive Coaching 101–Avoiding Spiritual Narcissists



All true religions and spiritual teachings have a core practice of kindness embedded in them. Yet, both religious and spiritual (not religious) people forget the tenets of compassion, kindness, and generosity. For the sake of this article, I’m focusing on the new age communities.

Granted, I’m not anti-new age since I once fell into this category by default because I’m an astrologer and metaphysical coach. And with the proper amount of discernment we can embrace new age spirituality without being seduced by cult leaders or joining a groupthink that resembles a medieval witch hunt or McCarthyism in the 1950s United States.

I want to send out a warning that if we don’t get this lesson about the spiritual elite and spiritual narcissists now then when Jupiter and Saturn move into Aquarius this December and Pluto transits into Aquarius from 2024 to 2044 (yes, 20 years of Pluto in a single sign), we’re going to learn about the dark side of groups and groupthink.

Wait a minute, doesn’t Aquarius represent individuality and non-conformity? Yes and no. Aquarius represents groups and it has a dark side of a tribal mentality. I watched videos recently about the limits of human compassion. I saw a research study focusing on babies and their ability to empathize with others as infants and as toddlers. However, an adjacent study revealed that babies only emphasized with like-minded beings. And another video revealed another study that people will go to war with people they consider outside of their tribe and who don’t share a culture, or team in common, as with soccer team rival fans.

So, you’re asking what does this have to do with spiritual narcissists? And I respond with my own question, how will we ever discover the oneness in all beings if we allow our religious ideologies and contrasting morals or truths to divide us? Enter spiritual elitism and spiritual narcissists.

fox-1883658_1920When the average person thinks of cults they mention Jim Jones or The Moonies or the worst-case scenario, they mention Charles Manson and his followers. But make no mistake about it, new age cults exist and cult leaders have posed as respectable spiritual teachers even interviewed by Oprah Winfrey. They are best-selling authors and best-selling oracle card-creators. They are spotlit by some of the best new age publishers in the world and even have hosted radio shows.

Due to their popularity and acceptance by mainstream culture, even deeply religious people feel safe at first dipping their feet into the teachings of these cult leaders. And these once kind people learn that they can manifest their dreams by changing their thoughts. They are given the message that compassion for others (if not in these exact words) is a waste of their positive high-vibing energy. Why is that? Their spiritual gurus taught them that people create their own suffering and if you feel it your heart to lift others up, then you become entangled in co-dependent relationships.

The teacher forgets to mention that they are suffering from co-dependency themselves.  This is why it is a good idea to research the best-selling authors and famous gurus before becoming a follower of them. They might be hiding an addiction or worse.

So, if we create our own reality, then why is the planet going down the tube? Why is Climate Change growing intensity? Why are people starving? Why are the numbers of babies dying in some countries when we can prevent that? If humans have the powerful ability to create a reality, then why are they just using it for themselves and not for the highest good of all? And why are their healers on the planet if we’re only supposed to focus on ourselves? Why did we come to the planet as healers?

I believe that people need to get their heads out of their butts, spiritually-speaking. The irony is that the people who follow the cult gurus are the ones looking for an easy way out of their traumas instead of seeking therapy and true healing. They seek an instant fix so they toss money at the teachers who promise them high vibrations and positive thoughts by simply being in the same room as the teacher. Meanwhile, these students or attendees of massively large events, cram their shadows down further or project them onto “spiritually-ignorant” or “low-vibrational” people.

Yeah, I get that too many people in the world complain without ever making changes. And I get that this is annoying and a real downer when you’re doing your best to stay in a good mood because that’s how we stay physically healthy. I don’t like being around people who rant and complain but I’ve also done my share of complaining until I woke up from that. However, there is true suffering in the world. I also refrain from getting engaged with shamers and blamers since they remind me of the old witch hunts, whether they are progressive or conservative–it’s the same nasty attitude either way.

However, there is a middle way and that is the path of compassion. For people who have a difficult time dealing with others, especially as part of a group, may I suggest studying Buddhism? While I am not a student of Buddhism, I have met many people who are and they talk about compassionate non-attachment which is praying for all sentient beings but not getting caught up in the drama. You will not hear of a true Buddhist telling people that they created their own reality, at least not as a spiritual hand-wiping. Buddhism is also a journey and not the destination of enlightenment. The Buddhist shows up every day and does the work.

The suffering in the world is real. It is part of the dualistic nature of the Third Dimension and it is part of our free will. It’s like a colleague of mine pointed out to me today, not all people who get cancer are paying off karma. And none of us truly knows another person’s karmic path and even if we did know, it’s not ours to judge. And by judging others in this way, we take on their karma, or in the case that they are not sick from a karmic burden, we create karma for ourselves with our judgments of others.

The reason so many of us are triggered by the traumas of the world is that we have not healed our personal traumas. Yet, what we give we receive. So, if we give out judgment, blame, shame, and suffering to others, then I assure you, at some point, you will experience suffering, and people will turn their back and wash their hands of you because they will say that you are vibing too low for them.

So, here’s how the cult gurus attract followers, or should I say seduce them into spending their time and money on false teachings. My spirit guides reminded me last night that the door to the devil is wide open and it’s not always who you think he or she is. In the same way that a person who suffers from co-dependency is attracted to a regular narcissist, they also fall prey to spiritual narcissists. The spiritual narcissist can show up as a friend who follows a specific “spiritual” teacher and the teacher’s concepts are overly simplistic in the form of slogans.

Or the friend tells you to watch a specific YouTube channel hosted by a best-selling author who already has mainstream support, thanks to appearing on talk shows hosted by a household name. You’re feeling depressed because you’re not living the life that you desire and this teacher promises you that it’s easy to manifest the house, the car, the lover, and even, spiritual enlightenment. This teacher started out like a normal person but then stumbled upon secret teaching or heard a voice thundering through their body while meditating and voila, a spiritual enlightened guru was born. Does any of this sound familiar?

The teacher is usually empathic or narcissistic and has a keen ability to tune into people’s deepest wounds and quickly come up with solutions at a price. The teacher starts out teaching a small group and then within a few years, they are spreading their gospel to people around the globe. And these people will pay any amount to attend one of the teacher’s events and to be a chosen one who has his or her questions answered by this guru who channels an entity that most likely never existed, except in the guru’s imagination.

A true spiritual channel doesn’t go looking for entities or beings to channel through. If you read the biographies of channels they often suffered from a long illness or a near-death experience which brought them the channeling or mediumship gifts. You will also find that these mediums are humble too and not all stagy and dramatic. They’re not worried about winning any popularity contests or selling best-selling books or shaping the minds of millions of people. If that happens it did so naturally.

Some folks were born with the gift of convening with spirits. They often push this gift aside in favor of fitting in with others. Then, the gift comes back to them later in life, often through illness, tragedy, or near-death experience. Or they have been on a spiritual path for decades and spirit graces them with the gift. Many of these mediums are starseeds, but not all of them are. They are here to serve others and not themselves. That’s how you can tell the difference.

As someone who in recent years came out of the closet with the encouragement of others to do spiritual mediumship, I can tell you there is no glory in this work. It is hard on the physical body and we must remember to ground ourselves. We also must learn how to set boundaries with others in the physical world, heal co-dependency, and keep our vessels clean so that our interactions with the spirit realm is healthy. We must stay in integrity and become responsible spiritual teachers. There are few rewards if any in this work except for the ego to rub itself in grandiosity.

So, if you are already familiar with narcissistic traits (entitlement, bids for power, lack of empathy, and arrogance or humility posing as arrogance) you’ll spot the spiritual narcissist. I have to say, I fell prey to at least one but at least, I didn’t spend my money, only my time watching this guru’s videos which did not lead to more money in my bank account and instead, lead to homelessness and dealing with her spiritual narcissistic followers. Also, The gurus will also offer a kernel of truth like a fisherman’s bait. Go slow with any new spiritual practice or teaching and use discernment before you are hooked and dragged to the edge of a lake, metaphorically-speaking.

If you want to create your own reality, then start with creating a kind and harmonious world by practicing kindness and spreading peace. Empower yourself by following your own inner teacher, also known as, your intuition. Watch out for simplistic solutions to complex world problems taught by spiritual teachers. And cultivate love you in your heart by a daily practice of meditation, yoga, breathwork, dance, or convening with nature. Give gratitude for what you have rather than overly focusing on your desires (or what is lacking).

Healing emotional and spiritual wounds takes time and the right therapeutic approach. While the focus is on self-reflection and even retreating, don’t spend your time thinking that your life story is more important than someone else’s. Don’t look for quick solutions and see life as a journey rather than a destination. Yes, be kind to yourself and be kind to others. If you are experiencing narcissistic abuse get help from a qualified professional and this will also help you to dodge the bullet when it comes to false spiritual gurus and spiritual narcissists trapped in groupthink. These people are dangerous to the soul anyway and you never know when they will turn against you.

I hope my article will save you the grief and anguish of hooking up with spiritual narcissists.

Published by pnwauthor

I'm a former Washingtonian from Washington State, not Washington DC. I currently reside in Pennsylvania, even though my dream was to live and work in Vermont.

4 thoughts on “Intuitive Coaching 101–Avoiding Spiritual Narcissists

  1. Beautiful, truthful and very well written ! I opened to my spiritual path in the early 80’s when I was very young. This was something I could immediately see through and steered clear from it.
    Now well into the New millennium, it has gotten much worse. These types of teachers are promoted on social media. This tells us a lot about mass consciousness and the dependance on fantasy and illusion.


    1. Thank you.

      Neptune in Pisces also adds to this escapism and the ultimate spiritual fantasy, which is just that, a fantasy. The spiritual path has always taken effort and there is healing that must occur on our paths.


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